Lord have mercy part 2

My entry today is a tad bit late but i have a good excuse..mid sem start today and I’ve been trying to cram 7 weeks worth of information in one hour and im pleased to say i was successful.My first exam wasn’t so bad and i do hope the remaining ones dont f**k me up.

As we discussed last week , this week’s entry is to teach the male species  how to handle or take care of his lady during red monster week.
1. Keep in mind she is still your girl its just that a demon has taken over her and with every exorcism movie out there, take protection in God.
2.She still loves you but hates you,talk to her at the same time shut the hell up, give her a hug but stay the hell away from her..see its not that complicated.
3.She or shall i say we shall eat all the
chocolate we desire and don’t you dare question our actions..is Satan stabbing your inside’s with a fork??..NO..so shut up and get us more chocolate
4.Text us n***a..we will sure as hell not respond but just text us..moreover call us..well most likely curse you the hell out but you know put in some effort
5.DO NOT EVER use the word “eww” when mother nature is around..eww n***a dont be talking about no damn eww..do you have river Jordan in your pants..the f**kin Red sea and you got the nerve to say eww..
6.DO NOT THINK WE EXAGGERATE the pain and sheer madness.try surviving 7 days with what feels like Satan using your insides as a play field.. Complain about how much we complain and maybe you shall be lucky and get stabbed with a fork in very delicate areas.
7. We’ll insult you and it wont be for any good reason..you are bound to do something stupid so the insults are just a precautionary measure..clearly there is a method to our madness

Remember whatever we ladies do during this period shall not be held against us as we are undergoing temporary insanity.. So if you happen to get yourself killed,its your fault my brother i prepared you all i could.May your stupid soul rest in idiocy peace.

Lutfiya Wanjiru


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