Dear Future Daughter

Dear future daughter before i begin i would just like to say i love you  and at times you may question my sanity just keep in mind you are mummy’s little princess.. Your father (hopefully Nigerian Lord i pray🙏🏼) fell in love with you as soon as you were born, i was still trying to find earth considering the labour process, who am i kidding fuck that I’m having a C- section and will probably be high of pain medication.You are my mini me, a little, pure, innocent version of me (but not for long😏). This world is a fucked up place and i hope i will teach you some tactics to survive this jungle.You will have to go through somethings on your own but I’ll always be there to hold your hand

I will fight your battles whether you want me to or not. I’m your mum its my responsibility to protect you and so i shall be ready for war baby girl I’m ready to kill a nigga for you.

I’m your mum so you will be beautiful both inside and out. A full head of curly black hair of which i will perm it as soon as possible.Just to warn you, puberty is a bitch high on cocaine. Your body will start doing weird shit that you don’t understand but I’m here to help. In our family the ladies are well endowed so you shall have “body goals”.(yaaay us).Getting your first period may seem like a milestone but after that its just a tumble down a very dark path filled with mood swings, anger management, need to kill someone and cravings.I hope you don’t get my temper but your father will also be hot headed he is Nigerian after all (Lord one again i pray🙏🏼)
With puberty comes feelings. Having feelings for a boy is not illegal what you do with those feelings is where i come in.If you do get a boyfriend please tell me cause I’m the damn FBI and i will find out. I hope by then I’ve taught you what our religion states in this case.If a nigga tries to mess around with you hell anyone actually , one, beat the living fuck out of them if you cant, just tell them “Bitch you ain’t got no clue who my mum is, she will whoop your ass, your mama’s ass, your daddy’s ass burn down your house, burn down your grandparent’s house all in the same day.Fuck with me a gain and see what happens.” Before i forget learning our religion is mandatory, i don’t wanna die and meet God and He’s pissed cause i didn’t teach you about Islam. I haven’t mentioned a lot but just know i will raise you just as i was raised. With lots of love and being hit with random objects and calling you animal names as well as cursing you and threatening to haunt you when i die 😊..(again much love) .Never forget my little princess (inta habibi, inta hayati [you are my love, you are my life]).
Much love
Your mum😘😘

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