Sup people, I’d just like to say thank you for your prayers, church/mosque group meetings,crusades, witchdoctor consultations etc; that were held in order to help me. I really appreciate it. My writer’s block is still going strong but im so glad i was able to write this post.
Now as a person who LOVES meeting new people, im always ready to be asked somewhat peculiar questions. But over the years, some questions are just down right pure and utter stupidity.
1. “Lutfiya, are you even Kenyan, like your accent is really weird.” I kid you not someone asked me this. Last time i checked, i have a Kenyan accent, i speak like Kenyan people because guess what IM KENYAN.
2.”Lutfiya dont take this the wrong way but are you really a Swahili? Cause your English is really good.” Lord see what your creation is doing with their life. This waste of oxygen has ropped themselves up in a stereotype that certain groups of people speak better English than others.
3.” I heard that Swahilis are really into witchcraft. Is it true?” Yup that is 100% true. Our juju game strong, spell-casting skills A1. We are actually so good at blackmagic that when you take a shower today, a coconut will randomly hit you on the head.
4.”Lutfiya have you been bethroved to like your cousin, cause I’ve never seen you interested in a guy” okay listen, not everyone from Coastal Kenya is gonna marry their cousin okay. Times have changed. And you need to stop watching Arab soaps on Dubai One. Secondly, im a luxury that few can afford, i ain’t about to waste my time on any random guy.
5.”Why are people from the Coast so damn loud though?” We are not loud, its just that the rest of you are too quiet. We are the best communicators. Its no easy feat relaying 6000 words, containing different information in less than 10 minutes. We are actually talented. Thank you very much
6. “Lutfiya why dont you have a Muslim last name?” This by far is the most annoying question of all. What exactly does one mean by ‘muslim last name’. My last name is my tribe name and I’m very proud of it. Just because i belong to a specific tribe doesn’t make me any less muslim.
Seriously, dont some of y’all hear yourselves when you ask such stupid questions. This is why your parents wouldn’t think twice about trading you in and getting a cat instead.A cat has a higher IQ than you.Take a minute, actually in your case a couple of minutes and let that sink in.
P.s. the second week of school was shitty, im guessing next week shall be shittier and the cycle shall continue for 12 more weeks. How wonderful. Y’all never got back to me on Dangote’s IG handle.i need him to sponsor me, i mean “fund my lifestyle”