The Case Of The Ex

Yeah yeah i know, this blog post is long overdue and y’all need to calm down please. Don’t get your knickers in a twist a beg. Anyway, from the title y’all must be all excited thinking i’m gonna talk about my Ex, hate to burst your bubble! I don’t have an EX, living a halal lifestyle here, no room for haraam. But i do have friends who unfortunately have those so called exes or as i like to call them, a waste of human flesh, or something that should have been left in a CD.Which ever you prefer is okay really.

If you’re easily offended, i highly suggest you stop reading right now. EXIT! EXIT! EXIT! You have been warned, proceed with caution.Anyway(i say that a lot) back to the Ex. Their existence is completely unnecessary but what can you do; wildlife is allowed to roam freely in the city.

Picture this, your Ex goes to your Uni/college, PLOT TWIST. Now this is the case for one of my really  close friends. I’ve decided to give y’all a speech to tell your Ex when they try and ‘converse’ with you.

You’re my Ex, which means at any encounter, we don’t need to Exchange words. Halla at me? Don’t do that, stopping me?don’t try that!You actually don’t Exist. We didn’t work out so i hit the Exit immediately.Do you really Expect me to forget all the shiit you put me through?That i’m so gullible and i’ll address your presence with Excitement. Nigga please calm down ,take a second and Examine your damn self. You out here spreading toxic fumes almost causing an Explosion. I actually thought cavemen were Extinct but clearly the Experts missed one.I wonder  how much money i’ll make by Exporting you to a different country!Now please back up off me before i smack you in that baboon’s ass-like feature you call a face!!

If they don’t get the picture after all that, i think it’s safe enough to assume that you actually dated a GOAT.

Side note: i’m currently on a steady diet of canned Fanta soda(tastes better) and caramel popcorn. Before anyone comes at me about how my eating habits are unhealthy, i just have one question or two for you. Is Satan using your insides as a playground? Causing havoc as if an exorcism process is happening and the Priest is loosing? Does it feel like your body is literally under attack from ITSELF? I thought TF not. So please shut up and sit down. Thank you

FEELS GOOD TO BE BACK!!!

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6 thoughts on “The Case Of The Ex

  1. Aaaah! This conversation…okay.
    One,I’ll stop you,two,I’ll say hi to you,three,if you dated a brother who treated you like trash then it’s on you. Nobody pointed a gun to your head and forced into a relationship. If you want my existence extinct,then I clearly exist,deal with it. We didn’t work out? Big deal! At least we know something that doesn’t work,don’t be too quick to rule out everything else…friendship could have been the foundation to whatever it is that we were trying to accomplish. Cavemen? C’mon,too much bile down the drain 😎. “Do you really expect me to forget all the $#!+ (profanity) you put me through?”…I think the time for playing this victim card ended a while back (my opinion) and ladies became smart about things by not allowing themselves to get to that point.
    So now,let’s neutralize this bitterness and move on with life…like the past already happened,the relationship didn’t work,it wasn’t what we thought it would be,he cheated,she cheated,no trust…yada yada yada.
    Let’s be accountable for ourselves first,then call out other people on their crap if it’s really worth the time and effort. Andy out ✌.

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    1. Wow that’s a long ass paragraph..lemme grab some tea.
      Okay let’s see what we have here, blah blah blah, pointed a gun to your head blah blah blah something to do with existence blah blah blah bile down the drain(what are you 70) blah blah blah. Okay ,clearly you took so much of your time to write that down and im glad to announce that half of what i wrote in my post is based on pure comedy. You don’t have a single funny bone in your body that’s why you don’t get it. Secondly how a female wishes to address her Ex, its her prerogative (look it up). No one is playing victim, with the rate of fuckboys and fuck girls out there people are getting hurt and they have the prerogative (again look it up) to be bitter if they so wish.The fact that you misinterpreted every single detail in the post makes my head hurt. Everyone is accountable for their actions we already know that. We are not children. So please before you come at me again, please clam down mr wanna be psychologist and understand that its for comedic purposes. Its never that serious. P.s. it’s so clear, you’re the EX every girl wants to avoid, shiit girls even fast to avoid it. (Drink some milk and stay strong)

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  2. πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚
    Okay. I’m a big fan of humor,a big one. I got entertained going through this piece,no lie. And it was supposed to be comical,sure 😊,I didn’t miss it,thought we’d continue with the conversation in those lines,but I thought wrong.
    I come in peace.

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