Honestly speaking, this week has been difficult, it started out exhausting and the struggle just keeps dragging itself along.This Nairobi sun is hellbent on increasing my melanin, my face and pores can’t handle it no more .There’s not enough cleanser on this earth that can fix me at this point.
So as a person who spends most of her time observing people, yes I do that. I take time to understand the people I’m dealing with. Now during these observation processes, I take special consideration to those who are said to ‘like me’, those who are said to be ‘interested’ in me. Now before someone trips over their abaya, lets calm down. I am definitely not about that haraam life but these things happen so why not learn from it.
To be honest, I have to admit to be completely oblivious to the fact someone might ‘like me’. I just think everyone is really nice and caring. These assumptions are set aside when my best friends claim that its more than just courtesy. Then they start listing all the things this said person does around me, frankly its just strange. Sincerely I don’t see what they see. This is not me having low self esteem or anything, my confidence level is probably higher than Mt. Kenya.
But I know me and with this information, I am a crazy bitch, extremely selfish, Lord I can be hella arrogant and I’m mean. Now surely why like that!!! Is it the face?? I have a resting bitch face. The body?? Fam from some angles I look like I swallowed a hippo. The personality?? Im the Muslim version of Cruella DeVille.Again what do you see that I dont??
But then again some of the male species that are ‘attracted’ to this nutcase, I have observed usually come from one category of humans, THE BRAGGERS. This makes me beg the question is this what I attract?? In all honesty, why the braggers?? The I’m signing this deal looking ass boy, the multiple girls hit on me looking ass boy, every female checks me out looking ass boy, I’ve been to hundreds of countries looking ass boy, the I’m a rich kid looking ass boy, the I can get anything I want looking ass boy?? SHINDWE! I know I haven’t been the best of believers but I surely I don’t deserve this.
I know at times we may lack things to talk about but bragging about the above mentioned will never impress me. Actually you are irritating me. You should brag about important things like your cooking skills cause a girl loves to eat.(Hence the looking like I swallowed a hippo from certain angles) Okay, brag about that!
BUT THEN AGAIN IM GRATEFUL THAT SOME PEOPLE ACTUALLY FIND ME ATTRACTIVE, YOU KNOW, A SLIGHT BOOST TO MY EGO. IM NOT A HOPELESS CASE AFTER ALL, I GOT A CHANCE. UGLY DUCKLING GOT A CHANCE *CUE THE WATER WORKS*